Why I Do What I Do

So I'm back from my little hiatus. The worlds seems to be a different place, one of nightmares. But I realize this is a selfish thought. The world hasn't changed, only my view of it. People less privileged than me have been living this nightmare for all of America's history. But that's always the problem. No matter how much you empathize with others, you can't truly understand until you go through it yourself. And I have only experienced the tiniest bit of this pain, vicariously at that.

So I ask myself: what do I do about it? I'm not someone well-suited to dealing with rapidly changing situations. I think too much. I try to think things through and often paralyze myself. It's happening now. I know I should be doing something, but I don't know what. I could always be one more voice in a protest, but is that really the best use of my time? I'm smart. There is surely something more constructive I can do with my time. I could write. That's what I want to do. It's what I'm doing now. I'll keep doing it. But what's the point? It's unlikely anyone outside of my bubble will ever read my work. So I sit and ponder instead of doing anything at all.

Part of my problem is that I'm big-picture guy. While the things that are being protested are important, they are merely symptoms of America's larger problems. There are systems of thought prevalent in large sections of the American population that are incompatible with true democracy. To be fair, I believe any strict ideology, whether religious or political, conservative or progressive, falls into this category. If your beliefs do not allow for the possibility that you might be wrong, conflict will inevitably erupt between opposing groups.

However, I can't claim to be unbiased, either. I'm assuming democracy is the best form of government, largely because, despite it's flaws, it seems to work better than any of the other forms we've tried. And, in my mind, democracy is only possible in a free and equal society. Respecting everyone's viewpoints equally requires thinking of morality in subjective and relative terms.

Yet, it's becoming increasingly clear to me that not everyone's viewpoint should be respected. If someone promotes genocide, he should probably be punched in the face. There are certain points of view that are so antithetical to the concept of democracy, that they cannot be allowed. However, in order to preserve the concept of democratic liberty, it cannot be the government that makes the decision of what is beyond the pale. That decision must be made and enforced by the people through societal pressure. But, and this is the point, I might be wrong.

So I keep searching for answers. There is no end to the search for truth. If you reach a point where you think you finally have all the answers, you merely prevent yourself from learning something new. I want to learn. That's why I'm doing this. When you read what I write, I don't want you to believe me. I want you to start thinking for yourself. I believe, and it is only a belief, that when everyone really starts thinking for themselves, we might finally be able to get along.