Empathy

So I'm a big fan of empathy. I think it's one of the most important tools humans have. It's the only hope we have as a species of ever ending the millennia of petty hatreds that divide us and hold us back from progress. When we fail to empathize with other groups of people, resentment and hate are the usual results.

But empathy is hard. How can I put myself into the shoes of people whose beliefs are completely different from my own? Especially if I believe that person's beliefs would lead to my harm? And how can I ask someone else to empathize with a group of people that has a history of oppressing them? I can't.

What I can do is make sure people understand the difference between empathy and sympathy. At least what I mean when I say these things. Because I think it is useful to differentiate the two, and I'm not sure that everyone does. As abstract concepts, definitions can become blurry and confused. To me, sympathy is about my feelings about another's situation. Like, if I feel bad when something happens to someone else. However, I view empathy as something much more detached. Empathy is my best attempt at figuring out how people view their own situation, stepping into their shoes. Of course, true empathy is impossible. I can never truly know what it's like to be someone else, especially someone very different from myself. But I believe it's important to try. 

I should note that empathizing with someone does not mean you accept or condone their actions. If anything, it assumes a sort of neutrality. You can enter the process with a preconceived notion, attempt to objectively analyze the situation from their point of view, and emerge on the other side with your opinion confirmed, or not. It's important to remain open-minded. The object is not to excuse or condemn their behavior, but simply to understand it.

This is important for two reasons. First, it has been my experience that empathy reveals that most of the horrible things human beings do to each other are the result of ignorance, not malice. From their point of view, most people are doing what they believe is right. This allows me to humanize those I disagree with while still condemning their actions. It's my way of stopping the cycle of resentment and hate and still fight for what I believe in. I believe that very few human beings are beyond redemption.

Second, and this is the point I would like to stress most for those who find it difficult to empathize with certain groups of people, empathy is a weapon. It sounds like a funny thing to say, but it's simply the realization of the adage "Know your enemy." If I have a disagreement with a group of people, it does not help my cause to shut their voices down. I need to understand where they are coming from if I am going to formulate an effective plan to change their minds. Or for them to change my mind. I am only human, and I could always be wrong. I know that refusing to listen to opposing points of view, or reflecting hate and resentment back at my opponents will never result in progress. No matter how difficult it is, or emotional I get, I do not have the luxury of giving up. I have to be a rock that weathers the storm.

I understand that not everyone can do this, and it's not fair to ask everyone to try. It can be an incredibly frustrating and unfair process, especially when there is a power imbalance between the two sides. However, I do believe that the more people who are able to do this, the better off we will all be in the end. For me, it is not a question of right or wrong, or does this person deserve my empathy. It's far more practical. I believe that empathy is a means of achieving my goals.